Is it healthy or not wanting to be like someone else? The answer is of course YES! It is both healthy and unhealthy. It’s not my style nor interest to focus on the negatives, however, it is worth commenting for the sake of this post that too many young people are becoming depressed because they are desperate to portray a social media image of themselves that is ‘perfect’. The young are obsessed with and influenced by social media and what they perceive to be the perfect body image and lifestyle. Of course we all know that this simply is not realistic. That these social media images are merely a facade – a deception of their outward appearance, and in fact nobody has the perfect life. Would you really want perfection anyway?
So, the question is… Is it healthy and positive to copy someone else? I believe the answer is a resounding YES, definitely! There are so many positives that can be gained by mirroring what has been done before, or by aspiring to be like someone who you admire that has achieved great things in your area of interest whether it be in sport, business or humanitarian gains. On a personal note, I have copied many people in my life and learned so much from people who I perceived were better than I at the time. I don’t just mean copying the kid sat next to me at school, which I did regularly.
So how do we copy or mimic behaviour for self-improvement and commercial gain? Well as children we are the ‘sum-total’ of our parents and the environment they place us in and you just have to hope it was a good one. You’ll know by now what you think of your childhood experiences. But even as an adult you need to make sure that your current ‘sum-totals’ reflect what you want to achieve and how we want to behave.
Scientists have shown that our brain waves can synchronise with people we are around for as long as you agree with the narrative of the interaction. Your brains will actually signal the same message at the same time, which is how relationships are formed and this is one of the fundamental traits that have made humans a successful species. It was fundamental to the shift from the hunter-gatherer existence to that of a farming community during the great cultural revolution of circa 10,000 years-ago when we started to domesticate dogs and we became lactose tolerant. Electroencephalogram (EEG) and brain scanning shows that or brains pulse the signal in coordination when in the same proximity and communicating with people we like, bonding individuals with the same goal to a common outcome.
So, here are a few tips on how to become more like the successful people we admire:
- Surround yourself with people you want to be like. i.e. significant others or your sum totals.
- If you surround yourself with confident, happy, funny, ambitious people you will be more like them.
- If your surround yourself with negative, depressive toxic people you will probably become more like them over time.
- Cut toxic people out of your life. They will only bring you down and life is too short.
- Let your narrative be happy and positive as much as you can. When you verbalise the right message your subconscious listens in and eventually it will become engrained in your brain and you will portray this message to others.
- You will be amazed what a simple smile and ‘hello’ will do to the people you come across during your day. The strange thing is they will actually smile and say ‘hello’ back to you. When you greet someone and show interest in them first they get a dopamine rush which makes them feel great and they will remember you in a positive light. You will get the same back because you are rewarded with a mirrored response.
- The simple action of a smile and a polite ‘interested in them’ greeting will open more doors and provide more opportunities during your whole life than you can imagine. It’s so easy!
- ‘Leave people better than you find them’. The best quote I ever heard. Can’t remember who said it!
- We can’t be around positive people all of the time but we can read motivational positive books, listen to positive podcasts and watch positive videos on YouTube. You’d be amazed just how much of a positive effect this will have on your life.
I’m talking from experience as these techniques have really helped me.
How can I help you?